When you drink water and there's a little black...
smokeporch: GIRLS ONLY, jk kinda!
damnthatswhatshesaid: PARKOUR PARKOUR I WANT 10 OF THEM FOR CHRISTMAS
Things I Say While Driving
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
...Is a Real Girl: Dear body, →
tinycooper: It’s fabulous that I can have children, and I thank you for reminding me on a monthly basis that I have been blessed with the ability should I desire to put it to use. But I have a few complaints: I am bloated. I literally cannot fit into my clothing because the section from about boobs to thigh…
Why can't rappers rap about nice things?
imjustonekid: senzaspazi: YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself. WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA collection of politely worded love letters. #So...
Hillary Clinton on what designers she wears:
Interviewer: Okay. Which designers do you prefer?
Hillary Clinton: What designers of clothes?
Hillary Clinton: Would you ever ask a man that question?
Interviewer: Probably not. Probably not.
damnthatswhatshesaid: look at how frickin content this snail is with his little stick i think we all need to calm down and look at this snail again
When you post a picture of yourself on Facebook...
thefuuuucomics: Follow Damn! That’s What She Said! for more!
heyfunniest: damn this actually sounds really sick THIS BLOG. THIS!
soundlyawake: tyleroakley: In case you ever doubt the fact that Beyonce is the greatest vocalist of our time. You know, it’s weird, but I feel like Beyonce is underrated. People always talk about Whitney, Celine, Mariah—but leave out Beyonce. Just be sure you realize how amazing she is. Carry on.
Obama: Doesn't want to ban porn.
Obama: Doesn't want to restrict your internet.
Obama: Doesn't want to take away your guns.
Obama: Supports gay marriage.
Obama: Education for all!
Obama: Universal healthcare!
Obama: Wants to continue Planned Parenthood!
Obama: Is happy that people protest poor laws because it shows people exercising democracy.
Americans: You're destroying this country.