I find myself so frustrated sometimes. I almost hate those who were supposed to be my “friends.” They all suck. They piss me off. They’re terrible. I would love to have friends that I can spend time with and not have real issues with but I feel as though I may not have ever had that kind of relationship that’s in movies. The kind that stands the test of time. The kind of friendship where you can be so real with a person and they’ll go through hell and high water to be there for you. I’ve tried to be that. I’m one who will stick around. But I can’t bring myself to that level where I’m able to get over those who treat me like crap and don’t really try…sigh. My granny tells me I need to be a better friend myself. I need to have friendships where my intent is to befriend someone for them and not so much for myself. This is what my granny says. It’s complicated. Difficult. Ridiculous. Friendships.
I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: “Hi, how are you?” Me: embarrassed, “Doin’ fine!” Stall: “So what are you up to?” Me: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just sitting here.” Stall: “Can I come over?” Me: (attitude) “No, I’m a little busy right now!!” Stall: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
I have ordered the Terressentials Organic Hair Wash (Cool Mint), aloe vera, and veggie glycerin(e). I have ordered these things because I am making my transition to fully organic hair products. I want to stick to one specific regimen and call it good. the hair wash has mud in it along with essential oils and what not so it’s able to lift dirt, oil, and residue off of the scalp. There is a detox period of 7 days and it doesn’t look all that exciting but maybe it is. I will wash my hair three times for the first two days, then I will wash my hair twice for the following two days and the last three days I am supposed to wash my hair only once, then the detox is complete. The detox is to get rid of products that coat hair with plastic and stuff that makes the hair look healthy when it may not actually be healthy. My regimen right now is diluted shampoo, conditioner, then ACV (apple cider vinegar) wash. I use all natural products for my hair. We shall see how this goes.
I ordered aloe vera and veggie glycerin because they are supposedly said to sooth an itchy scalp and it is pH balanced and have good qualities for the hair. I think they’re supposed to strengthen it or something and it can be used as a leave in conditioner. I have my homemade shea butter and I have my flax gel that I make, but I don’t use it often. I need to figure out a protective style that isn’t time consuming and allows me to be free of touching my hair for a while.
I was on Facebook and there’s this game going on with posting a status talking about what happened in a particular year that someone assigns to you after you’ve liked their status, but anyway…my aunt said 1999. I calculated what age I was when 1999 rolled around and I remember leaving elementary school to go to middle school. It was a huge adjustment period and it seemed to launch me into a pretty long “functionally depressed” period of time. I say functionally because I was depressed but still living my life. Desiring to die everyday yet still moving on with what I had to do while accomplishing the bare minimum. I hadn’t been officially diagnosed but sometimes I think that’s what it was. Ah! I’m tired. Deuces!
I did an apple cider vinegar wash after I shampooed my hair last night. Sounds weird, I know, but it made my hair soft. It acts as a cleanser and conditioner at the same time. It doesn’t smell the best, but it did its job. Made my own shea butter yesterday and it is awesome. i was able to twist my hair and have it stay in place. the back is usually the most difficult part and it worked wonders. the back portion of my hair becomes straight so easily, it’s freakin’ weird. i have different textures of hair on my head. The back is like 3C and the rest is 4a, 4b, 4c or something like that. My hair is super soft. I plan to use both products more to see what the benefits will be. The oils I put in the shea butter should help to strengthen my hair and make it easier to retain length and have my hair be longer but we shall see!